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What A Year Does To A Person?

Wow, December is already here, and I find myself wondering where the time has gone.
The questions came rushing in almost instinctively: What have I done to grow this year? What impact have I made on the people around me? When I try to count them one by one, I lose track. Blessings have scattered generously across my months, even though the year began with grief as I mourned my grandmother’s passing in January 2025. There were storms too: an intense quarrel with my husband over a serious matter, a frightening near-slip into a Korean cult called Shincheonji, and the same old family tension centred on my brother.

The truth is simple: life refuses to unfold according to our tidy expectations. Nothing ever reaches that perfect 100 percent we dream of.

Yet, somewhere within those imperfect days, I recognise the ways I’ve grown.
This year, I’ve been trusted again and again to serve as moderator and master of ceremony. It still surprises me how, whenever someone needs an MC, somehow my name is the first they recall. And slowly, I started seeing myself differently: more confident, more willing to stretch, more eager to learn. I picked up Mandarin again, this time not out of pressure but genuine desire. I sharpened my MC skills, and for the first time, I was paid for it. I honestly never expected to be paid at all, yet there I was, holding a certificate for moderating an English session and thinking, Lord, how did You do this with someone like me?

But then again, I know how easy it is for me to slip.
That very weakness reminds me how desperately I need God, now more than ever.

I’m thinking about making new resolutions: especially for my academic journey. I’m returning to an old dream: becoming a lecturer, a researcher. But this time, I want the journey to be holy. By “holy,” I mean I refuse to repeat the foolish shortcuts or compromising behaviours that once stained my path. I want to be more attentive to God’s image in everyone I meet, and in every situation that tests my character. I think I’ve had enough of my old foolishness.

I’m also reclaiming my old joys: teaching, studying, jogging (or at least walking briskly), reading, writing for newspapers or legal platforms, journaling, and simply living fully with my family.

And yes, I still want to grow Kanahaya Gallery. KG has been one of the quiet lifelines God used to pull me out of difficult seasons. In this era of social media, His ways reach even into the digital chaos, and somehow, He always finds a way to steady me.

I suppose that’s all for now. I’ll write more tomorrow.
I owe 2026 a version of myself that is more disciplined, more consistent, and far more ambitious than the one standing here today.

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